Friday, March 04, 2005

I suck at raising invertebrates.


Tito died this week. Tito is my pet scorpion. Was my pet scorpion. According to people who don't suck at raising invertebrates, they are supposed to live 5 to 8 years. I only took one year to kill mine off. The really sad thing is that I still don't know how it died. I have several theories though:

~Didn't feed him enough.

~Fed him too much.

~Kept terrarium too humid.

~Kept terrarium too arid.

~Gave him tap water in his dish instead of distilled water.

~Didn't sing to him often enough.

~Used fungicide in to clean out shower which made the air in the bathroom (where Tito lived) toxic.

~Basement is too cold to support African arthropods. And subarbanite humans, for that matter.

So its on to a new hobby, one which will not cause arachnids (or anything else) to suffer if I am not good at it.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes... sometimes things happen that are out of our control. And sometimes... invertebrates pass on to invertebrate heaven even though we don't expect them to.

And perhaps it is for the best. How long could more singing have prolonged Tito's life? One day? Two? 5 years? Maybe 7 years with a particularly astonishing performance?

Well, regardless, fate has claimed a beloved invertebrate and the world is a less pleasant place... or more pleasant depending on whether or not a person is scared as hell of scorpions or not... which is most people... but that is beside the point. This is a time of mourning. Let us remember Tito not as a horridly ugly creature wandering around seeking out feet to stick that treacherously deadly venom tail into but as a honorable creature worthy of a proper burial as far down into the ground as possible.

Captain Cup-a-cake said...

Have you ever considered getting a useful pet? I think you should invest in a Babel fish. That would at least be a good conversation starter. If somebody says, "Hey you have a fish in your ear." You could say, "Yes, I do." that would be cool. Just think of the possibilities! You could actually understand the Utahan language. When people say darn, the little fishy in your ear with say damn! However, this might have a negative connotation. You might start to judge people a lot more since you are the only one who knows what they are truly saying.

Other language you might benefit from the Babel fish.

Hey and the What language. The Tick
Kuku [Sudan]
Binary [geeks]
Runyankore [Uganda]
Klingon [geeks]
Kamba [Kenya]
Elf [geeks]
Hehe [Tanzania]
Pig Latin [geeks]
Zinza [Tanzania]

T.R. said...

genius! I already have a virtual babel fish, but it can't do the hey language or the what language. Where can I get a babel fish? I heard they make your ear smell, but it is worth it.

T.R. said...

okay so when I said they make your ear smell, I meant as in "my ear smells bad", not as in "my ear has olfactory capabilities".

Captain Cup-a-cake said...

I would have to admit the virtual Babel fish is cool, but it's not the real thing. Why does everyone do virtual games instead of the real thing? Are we too lazy? Why don’t you just go out and fight a fire instead of playing “Virtual Fire Fighter” Making fishing into a “Virtual Sport” should be a sin. What are they going to think of next “virtual school” where you can take your classes over the internet without ever meeting the teacher... That’s absurd


You can actually do that? How do you live with yourself?

T.R. said...

virtual things are popular because of their free-ness. And their virtualness, which of course means you can play them without moving more than the few small muscles used in mouse-clicking. Also it eliminates the need for someone to learn to be a member of society who actually interacts with other people.

So to answer your question:

"Are we too lazy?"


Really? Virtual Fishing?wow.