Monday, October 31, 2005

The Epic Saga of the Unjust Ticket (Chapter 3)

So today I pushed my court date from this Wednesday to November 16. The end (for now).

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Indian Fall

This post was suggested by jackie smaz, but I had already decided to do it before that.

Some of you may have noticed my fanatical insistence that we undertake a raod trip to various exotic locales, including Vernal, Zion's and central Utah. Some of you were busy. Some I didn't have a chance to talk to. Others of you gave me the shaft. Still others I didn't invite because I don't like you. Whatever the reason, my dreams were shattered one weekend at a time, until there was no hope left. Until...

Waylon, one of my roommates, to the rescue. We went to Escalante for some hiking. Of course there were drawbacks. I'm all for eating a couple slices of bread and heading out, but one of the participants wanted to cook breakfast. On a slow, propane grill. That wasn't assembled. After he got up at 10:30.

So about 1:00 pm we start our hike. 3 Slot canyons! You know how I feel about slot canyons. These were particularly awesome because they were the type that touches your belly on one side and your backbone on the other as you slither along its deep floor.

Waylon tells me that Indians from some tribes would come down into these slot canyons to commune with the Great Spirit. I could see why. You feel like you are crawling through Earth's arteries. And the metaphor of going into a dark valley, deeper and deeper, until you emerge into the sun whose brilliance you almost forgot while you were away, is one of death and rebirth that is too perfect to ignore.

So while I love when the seasons change, I have enjoyed our indian summer that has lasted well into fall. It rained tonight and is kinda cold, so its probably just ending at last. But I was glad to give it a proper farewell rather than watching it fade away from behind a desk.

Thursday, October 20, 2005


It has come to my attention that I have run out of things to write about. I have been at work for six hours and cannot think of a blog entry. Goodnight.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Epic Saga of the Unjust Ticket (Chapter Two)

Alright. Yesterday I called the traffic court. No answer, except for a recording promising to call me back as soon as a line opened up if I left a message. I did, they didn't. So I called again after about an hour and set a date for a hearing: November 2nd at 5:30. She said I could call back anytime up until about October 31 if I need to change it.

I will.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

The Epic Saga of the Unjust Ticket (Chapter One)

Crap, crap, crap, I say! Crap. Crap. I got a ticket while on my way to Urinetown (a.k.a. Provo) today. Crap. The freeway traffic was moving slower than a drunken snail riding backwards on a turtle riding on a two-toed sloth crawling the wrong direction on a moving sidewalk made of frozen molasses. So I exited and was making some reasonable progress on some rural frontage-type roads. When I got stuck behind someone slow, I would pass them. There was always plenty of space and I always had a single dotted yellow line. No problem, eh? Until I passed a blue pickup. My spirits and jaw dropped in perfect unison as the familiar nausea-inducing whirl of cop lights turned on behind me. Crap.
Crap! He walks up to my window. Now you will recall that I am in a hurry. Wait, I haven't mentioned that yet. Yes well I was in a hurry to meet my sister in Provo to watch a silent movie with a live organ player. It was very cool. Man, that guy (Buster Keaton?) sure can climb building. The best part was when was fencing with that lady who had the umbrella. Hilarious.
Where was I? Oh that's right, getting a ticket. Crap. So he says the usual sickeningly casual things that traffic cops say. "Y'in a hurry?" "Y'know why I pulled y'over today?" "Y'know that I'm a buttface"? Ok, I've never heard that last one said before, but you you get the idea. So I don't remember precisely what his (stupid) reason was for stopping me because I was too busy agreeing with him so that he would just SHUT UP for heaven's sake and let me get on my way. I was sure I would get a stern talking to and nothing more, but instead he acts all friendly and then writes me a ticket. Crap. He doesn't even know how much it will cost.
He drove off and I gathered my dignified composure and I......did.....something.


I cried, alright? Are you happy? I told you. Yeah, so I'm a pansy, so what? Big deal. Like you are real tough. It was a crappy thing that happened at the end of a worse day at the end of an even worse week, all during some of the hardest months of my life. So there.

ANYWAY, moving on and completely forgetting that thing that I just told you about that we shall never mention everevereverever again, the silent movie was awesome and Cate and I met up with my brother and his wife. My brother English had some most encouraging advice. He said that if I
(a)call the phone number on the ticket and set up a court date to appeal, then
(b)wait until the last possible day that I can change the court date, then
(c)change it, so that by the time it arrives it has been like a month and a half, then
(d)show up for my hearing,
the the cop will probably not even care about it and not show up, in which case I get off without having to pay
the cop shows up and can barely remember what happened, and my case is ambiguous enough that I can be found innocent.

And so, the saga begins...