Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Sandwich Song

Order a reuben sandwich, curly fries, chicken nuggets, and jamocha shake at Arby's. Take a bite or sip of each food one at a time, noticing the different sounds. Sit for a few minutes and compose an song of any length using each food in your mouth as the instruments. Perform your song with the rest of your meal, noting which instrumental combinations sound better than others versus which taste better than others. Look for correlations between the taste combinations and sound combinations.

Another Christmas

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Treasure Hunting

Remember how you were always going to do this when you were a kid? What happened? You really dropped the ball on that, didn't you? That's terrible. And then off you go to tell young children to live their dreams, to set their minds to something and accomplish it? You hypocrite. Go hang your head in shame.

Alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Your desires and dreams have changed, haven't they. Of course, how stupid of me. Give us a hug? Yes, there, isn't that better? Yes I forgive you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay let go now please.

But wouldn't you still like to go hunt for treasure? (The correct answer is "yes please".) Then you should shop at Deseret Industries. Today I found two small canvas paintings, a red cardigan, and a cool ceramic mug (I like ceramic mugs). In the past, I have found a brass menorah, a violin, a Hohner melodica, lotsa pants, lotsa shirts, some shoes, a leather jacket (which increases my badass-ity by 40%!), a crockpot, and, wow, a ton of other stuff. Garage sales work too.

Or, if you prefer buried treasure that you dig up with a shovel, there's geocaching.

Friday, December 01, 2006

It's just so menacing.




I can't put it down.



It's pretty.




And mathematical.



It can accompany itself.



Thank you, Craigslist.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Sleeping Song

Sit in a very dry, boring lecture. Look around the room for someone who is in the process of falling asleep. Recall the sound of that person's voice, or imagine what it sounds like if you can't remember or have never heard it before. Mentally create an "MMM" sound using the person's voice. As the person's head bobs up and down, adjust the pitch accordingly. The person's head at an upright, attentive position should evoke the normal pitch of the speaking voice, and a head collapsed on the table or desk in front of the person should evoke the lowest tone that the person can create vocally. Continue until the person fully wakes up or falls asleep.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Adventures on Two Wheels

Blah blah blah gaspricesglobalwarmingdependencyonforeignoilexercisesustainability pollutionthriftetc.

Forget all of those reasons. The real reason that you should ride a bicycle instead of driving is adventure.

Men with Hammers

The other day as I rode along the sidewalk, there was a man hammering some sheet metal and blocking my path. As I went around him, my cast shadow must have set off his looming detector or something because he whirled around brandishing his hammer. He made sort of a guttural "HA!". He lowered the hammer and said "You scared the shit outta me!".

Which one is scarier: a silent man on a bicycle or a snarling man with a hammer?

The Snail Race

Stop lights are boring in a car, but a bicycle can't stop moving without falling over (unless you put your foot down).
This forces a snail race, which means you ride your bike slowly forward, just fast enough so that you don't have to dismount but slow enough that you don't ride into the intersection before your light turns green.

Snap Judgments

Speaking of intersections, last week I was crossing a crosswalk (I had the little white man and everything) when a red Geo Tracker moved forward to make a right turn and block my path. My mind filled with bad words while my fingers reached for the brakes, but the car stopped just in time. What a jerk! Whoa, wait a sec. That looks like Melanie. It is.

On second thought, it's a perfectly natural mistake to make. In fact, shouldn't I slow down a bit as I cross an intersection?

Alright, so snap judgments occur in cars as well. But on a bike any insult you get is so personal. They can see your shoes and everything. Road rage on a bike is safely diffused into stronger pedal strokes.

Muscle Soreness

It means guilt-free TV watching.

Looking Awesome

I look awesome on a bike.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Just please do something.

First of all, please vote this Tuesday. I think things would automatically get better if everyone voted. I think you can still register through Saturday if you call your precinct.

http://elections.utah.gov/voterregistrationinformation.html

So once again I find myself actually caring about politics, even though I don't enjoy caring about politics. And once again I am too lazy and inarticulate to say everything I want to, but this guy isn't. Let me just add that I don't like voting for a party, but in voting issue by issue and candidate by candidate I often find myself more on one side than the other. Ok, thanks for listening. You can go back to myspace now.

P.S. Check out this candidate. (Vote for him, in fact).

P.P.S. This post is really similar to one I made almost exactly two years ago.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Fall 2006: Dynamic Systems

Again, not an exact match, but can you feel the power? This is one of my favorite professors, and this is my sixth class of sorts from him.

This guy is a fan of the long silence. If he wants you to give some input, he doesn't ask for it. He just stops talking and looks at you and waits for you to say something. It makes it so that I always keep a stash of insightful things to say close at hand. They sometimes turn out to be irrelevant.

Well this class is strange. That's as far as I want to go right now.

"The internet is not ready for prime time."

"You are full music and full of math. Some of us are full of bullshit, but also music and math."

"It is a persistant problem for physicists that doorknobs are not equally distributed throughout the universe."

His Website

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Fall 2006: Intro to Programming in Java


Ok, he doesn't look a lot like Ray Romano, but his voice sounds identical. Every time he says something I expect it to be hilariously frantic, clueless, or pathetic (much like that lovable Raymond), but it never is. This distraction is probably why I am already several assignments behind.
Don't expect big things from a programming class. Five weeks in and I am still trying to draw a red circle. It keeps coming out as a square. And I'm supposed to program my own version of Craps?


"Computers are stupid."

Computers are really stupid"

"Java is crazy."

"The people who designed Java are crazy."

His Website

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Fall 2006: Music from the Inside Out


Professor Cottle likes Shania Twain but don't judge him. And his class may be very impractical, but its helping me graduate. Basically we listen to each other's music collections and then talk about it. Then we do that again. Every day. Also: he told us a story about this composer who sold tickets to his concert at carnegie hall. The fans walked into the auditorium and out the back door where they were loaded onto buses that took them to a power station. The fans walked through the power station for a while and heard the buzzing and pulsing, then bused back to Carnegie Hall, and that was the concert. I mean I could have done that, but then there's the whole Columbus egg thing.

"Danger Music!"

"Would you believe we have a word for that? Vocalese."

"I have a PhD, so I can listen to whatever music I want."




He looks like John Locke from "Lost".

More info on this fine fellow.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Fall 2006: Intro to Syntax


I knew on the first day that this class would be alright, because the professor looks just like Ricky Gervais. I like him well enough, but this class is basically diagramming sentences. Remember doing that? And aren't you glad you did? I bet you would never be where you are today without that crucial skill.

Here are some notable quotes from him so far:

"I am a dataset. You are a dataset."

"English and Japanese are the exact same language, except with different words and different structure."

"A big German man lives in the house at the end of the street."

"Who do you wonder what where went?"

Friday, September 01, 2006

Summer Reading Roundup

As part of an effective summer, I have read several books. Now as part of wasting homework time, I will review them.

1. The Prophet
By Kahlil Gibran

This is a short one and easy to read. Basically this guy tells you everything you need to know about life, the universe, and everything (something which Douglas Adams couldn't manage in more than three volumes) and in a very peotic way. If only Gibran were around today, maybe Almistra would ask The Prophet to speak to us of internet dating. 10/10

2. Leadership and Self-deception
By The Arbinger Institute

How can an institute write a book? Answer: Not very well. Okay, the message was good and I agree with it etc. but it is SO BORING. I couldn't finish it. It reads way too much like a corporate training manual because it's a corporate training manual (which I was supposed to read for my job). Might I reccomend books be written by humans from now on?
5/10

3. Messiah
By Gore Vidal

I bought this used at that cool enormous used bookstore they have in Portland. That was last August, and that's when I started it. I had a hard time staying awake for the first 50 pages or so, but to be fair I was in a hot tub for most of that time (that's another amusing story, by the way).
So I was turned off to it for a while until I picked it up again in July and finished a couple of weeks ago, fully one year after starting it. Well maybe I've matured or maybe it just got more interesting, but I loved it. And the last two pages were some of the most chilling I've ever read.
9/10

4. Welcome to the Monkey House
By Kurt Vonnegut

With a name like that, how can you go wrong? This is, in the author's opinion, a collection of his worst short stories. I liked most of the ones I read though, especially Harrison Bergeron.
8/10

5. I Sing the Body Electric!
By Ray Bradbury

If only this book were as groovy as that Weather Report album. Although I did make an important discovery while reading it: I hate Ray Bradbury. I hate the way he can't just come out and say exactly what the hell is going on in his story. "Peter Horn didn't want to be the father of a small blue pyramid." is the first line of "Tomorrow's Child". OH MY SWEET NOTHINGS, WHAT IS GOING ON? TELL ME RAY, I CAN'T TAKE THE SUSPENSE!! I MUST READ MORE!
That sums up how I did not feel reading any of his short stories. And man, this guy can preach. One story (that the collection is named after) is about a robotic grandmother, who after six months of listening to her grandchildren (humans) and squirting jets of water out of her index finger, suddenly starts spouting out her philosophical take on why she exists. Robotic grandmothers are supposed to bake cookies on command, not bore us with metaphysics.
6/10

All in all, a successful summer of reading. Even bad books are still pretty good. Especially on a road trip or when you're stuck out in the desert under a juniper (see previous entry).

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Happy Days with the Fawns

I work at Outback Treatment Program. We take these kids out into the west desert to help their souls dry out, as the song goes. Anyway on the last day of one of my eight-day shifts I went out for a walk by myself while I was waiting for the others to wake up. I got a ways up the river and heard this weird noise.

Well it turned out to be an abandoned fawn with a broken leg. He (I don't know whether it was a he but eh.) was tiny, like the size of a big rabbit.

He slept for a while and we called our office who called fish and game. Saving fawns is not really their thing, it turns out.

He drank quite a bit of Dr. Shane's Wild Fawn Formula (which is what we named our collaboration of dehydrated milk, butter, sugar, and salt all mixed with warm plastic-flavored water.

So I am afraid this story has a sad ending. Our office advised us to leave him there to hobble around until he gets eaten by an eagle or dies of starvation (not their exact words).

Insert philosophical discussion about the cruelty of nature here.

Still I'm glad we met.




(that weird sound is me whistling to try and get him to look at the camera)

Friday, June 23, 2006

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Find other weirdos in your area!!

Think your esoteric hobby is too obscure to warrant its own club? Think again! The internet has solved even this problem. Are you gay but love guns? Do like watching videos of people crying and eating at the same time? Do you wear meat on your head? Miss the Chicken? A whole e-society awaits your arrival.Publish Post

While there is no online society yet, the internet has yielded contact info for people around the world who share one of my more peculiar interests.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The Trouble with Meat

Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Vegans can't change anything.

Ahimsa

I once stepped on a beetle for no reason. My family and some extended family were with me at the time and they were angry at me for it. My first thought was that it was because, oh yeah, we were in a national park (Bryce Canyon) where you're not supposed to mess anything up if you can avoid it. Then the more I thought about it, it was just a jackass thing to do. Beetles are gross, true, but squashed beetles are even grosser. I soon realized that the only reason for me crushing the beetle was to feel superior or powerful somehow (I was in middle school at the time so, ya know). That's usually a stupid reason to do anything.

A few years later a friend of mine stepped on a caterpillar on the trail for no reason. I hate caterpillars. They are just so gross. More on that later. But it made me really angry for some reason, probably because people are often the most ardent opponents of ideas and practices that they recently left behind. Anyway I caught myself before shouting and instead told him he should move to India for a couple of years to learn the principle of Ahimsa, or nonviolence. Actually it goes beyond nonviolence to mean not doing any harm to any living thing through any action or inaction. As you may imagine, this can get out of control. Jains in India often wear masks over their mouths to avoid accidentally eating bugs. Still, in principle its really a good attitude to have I think.

This is a sound argument for vegetarianism, unless you've thought up some way to eat animals without killing them. On star trek they have that replicator, and I think it was Clarke or Asimov who said something about hydroponic steaks? Or maybe the answer came from Douglas Adams: genetically engineer animals that want to be eaten and are capable of telling you so (creepy). Here is an even more disgusting way around this reason.

Nutrition

I can't say whether vegetarianism is more health-promoting or not. This guy seems to think not, but he sounds a little crazy to me. I think that while a lot of vegetarians do it wrong, if someone spends a little bit more energy to keep track of what they're eating it is probably way healthier than what we omnivores eat. So my sister's roommate from her freshman year who spent a whole semester eating yams (her skin turned orange and she started losing hair) did it wrong, but you can get all your iron and proteins without eating meat. That's vegetarianism two, omnivore-ism (?) zero.

Preference

"I don't like the taste of meat."; "I don't like the thought of eating flesh"; "I just read The Jungle and toured a hot dog factory."

How can anyone argue with these? You don't like meat, so you don't eat it. Great, that's how I feel about kidney (tastes like pee). I find that people who have this reason for not eating meat are not the zealot vegeatarian missionaries who want us all to join them.

Sustainable Earth

This is the idea that animals wreak havoc on the land while crops don't. This is a myth, I think. Cow patties are not nearly as destructive as plows and fertilizers and pesticides. Ever heard of the dust bowls? Giardia can be filtered out of water with a hand pump. High acidicy can't. Let's just agree that both farming and ranching could benefit from more long-term perspective.

Food Shortages

This goes something like people are starving because we are using land inefficiently. raising meat only produces this many steaks per acre while growing wheat produces some huge number of loaves of bread. Probably another myth. The world produces enough food to give everyone 2,700 calories a day (enough to make us all fat). Distribution is the problem.

Other Reasons

These are other reasons I have heard (for real).

My farts don't stink because I am a vegetarian.

Yeah well I got one word for you: Brocolli.

Meat eaters have bad breath.

No, people who don't floss have bad breath.

(from a 6' male)
I only weigh 128 pounds.

Congratulations, Jack Skellington.

So where does that put us? Three good reason not to eat meat. Well I like meat and am not about to stop. Sorry.

As for you vegetarians, good on you. You're doing something I can't do. Keep up the good work so that I don't have to. Vegans, yall are crazy.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

==>Exit<===>Exit<==>Exit<==

They all lead out. Still, they lead to different places. One leads to an identitcal room minus all of the furniture. One leads to an identical room with different furniture. The last one leads to a totally different room, in a different house full of different people.

First Exit


Second Exit


Third Exit

The trouble with exiting a room is that you have to leave in order to do it.
According to a friend of mine, there's a solution: one adventure must lead into another.

By the way, if you opened any of those links in new firefox tabs, you cheated and the metaphor is ruined.

This is probably a good point. You know at the end of a movie....let's say, "The Mummy".....when so-and-so is riding away on his such-and-such with his lady friend, and you think, "that's great. but what happens when the sunset is over with and they have to camp and they can't decide what to eat, so they have an argument."

Their argument is not the result of food preferences. (All that's around is scarab beetles anyway). They are arguing because they're depressed. The adventure is over and all that's left is that feeling of peaceful angst. The hard part is done, but what are they going to do now? They were so focused on killing that damn Imhotep that nobody ever said: "hey so-and-so, what are we going to do after this is all over?"

They could have just stayed at the pyramid. It's collapsed. There's no more Imhotep. It's the same room without all of the furniture.

Or there are those other pyramids. I believe one of them houses the Scorpion King, who also needs to be killed. This is okay I guess, but kind of boring. Notice nobody saw "The Scorpion King" movie. Sure there's different furniture, but its only a matter of time before they realize that hey, this is the same room.

If they had just taken a few minutes, possibly while running out of the collapsing pyramid with falling bricks, they could have planned a great adventure, even if it was just a trip to the thrift store. Wthe hope of another adventure on the horizon, there would have been no scarab beetle argument.

Don't take summer classes if you can avoid it.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The Theses hit the Fan, Chapter 1

A senior thesis is my ticket to a more experience, a spiffier bachelor's degree, more graduate school options, and everlasting peace and happiness. Right?

Well even if that last one doesn't happen as a result, I am doing it anyway. Right now I am writing up the proposal due at noon tomorrow. (which leaves me 24 hours and ten minutes). Until then here is my one page summary.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Just a Survival Machine?


It's creepy what thoughts you can find yourself having sometimes.

This morning I studied for a philosophy exam with a professor that you've already heard about, my dear faithful reader. One the one hand I have gotten better at studying for and writing for this guy. But also I was distracted by the events of last night, which didn't have relevance to philosophy of cognitive science. Anyway this exam is worth 25% of my grade and had me a little nervous.

To try and get into a better mental state for test-taking, I thought it would be better to study at school than at home. Also I drank some mate. On the way to school, just one block from my house, I saw our dear professor walking his mastiff. Hmm. Nobody else around. Him on foot and me in a car. In an instant I had the realization that if there were some sort of.........accident........then I could avoid this test entirely.

I just keep wondering if for a fraction of a second that it was actually an option that I considered, even if it was for only a moment.

Tell me something like this has happened to you.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

This guy goes to a psychiatrist

This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." - Woody Allen


I gave my mom some balloons on Valentine's Day. Here at work we have a helium tank, and so I filled them myself. I opted for hi-float, a gelatinous goo that coats the inside of the balloons to make them float longer before deflating and sinking to the floor, unable to support their own weight. Much longer, in fact. Stopping by her house today (note that it is now April 8th) I saw that while the rest of them had suffered their inevitable slow voyages from cheerful decoration to depressing metaphor for life, one balloon is still completely floating with it's ribbon almost as tight as when I first inflated it. It has been thrilling for us all. Every conversation between Mom and I since Valentine's Day has included the balloons and we've agreed that it is supernatural.


So kudos are in order to the inventor of high float, right? This person saw a problem in the world (balloons only last a couple of days) and set out to solve it. I mean we're all fighting entropy on a daily basis, but this person contributed to the struggle in a very tangible way. The balloon is still floating. There is no denying that.

Or else hi-float is just another patent number. Just another obscure product that most people will never hear of. It makes balloons float longer, but nobody's life is actually better as a result.

Does hi-float matter? Does this improve anyone's life in a way that matters? As one of my professors always asks us retorically, "Is this a difference that makes a difference?"

Let's blow this way out of proportion for a moment. Let's suppose I continue my current course of study until it turns into a career. Dr. Uchino, one of my thesis advisors said that I will probably not have my thesis published in a peer-reviewed journal, and that even if I do, it won't be as glorious as I might think. He noted that despite his publications, he is not famous and will probably not turn out to be influential, wealthy, or mentioned in textbooks years from now.

But we're all adding to this growing body of knowledge, he says, and it is a prerequisite of being a scientist that one believe that more knowledge is better than less knowledge, that the net effect of science is for the benefit of humans, and essentially makes a difference that makes a difference.

Now let's really overgeneralize and carry this metaphor way past its sensical boundaries (this is fun, isn't it?). Belief in God, belief in other people, belief in ourselves. Really there is no logical reason to believe in any of these. I see mountains of evidence against God. Other people have let each of us down more times than we can count. I, for one, fail at something at least once a day. But we still get out of bed. We still depend on other people, and I keep going to church. I am not saying if you don't believe in God then you are giving up on all of humanity and the whole universe. All I'm saying is that you're still around because you believe in something. Science is good. Hi-float is wothwhile. God is a real person. Doorknobs are not equally distributed throughout the universe. Whatever it is that's keeping you going, let me just say, good for you.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Plasma for Plasma Screens

This is one of those periods I experience from time to time, where I don't have enough money for all the things I want. When I say "things I want", I am not talking about cars, accordions, boats, unicycles, personal jets, laptop computers, Ronco food dehydrators, plasma screens, or electric staplers. I gave up on that type of thing a while back. What I mean is things like gas, food, socks that match, jeans without holes, rent, etc.

I have paid most of my rent for next month, but still owe for utilities. I can wear holy jeans, especially now that it's warming up a bit. I don't have any slumber parties scheduled in the immediate future, so the sock situation is fine. I can raid food from my mom's house whenever I need (I call it "shopping"). Also my roommate works at domino's and brings home a pizza every other night.

Mom, if you're reading this, don't worry. I am eating just fine. I'll prove it: Yesterday I ate cereal, spaghetti (the kind that is four different colors), green beans, an orange, and two sandwiches. Don't worry.

But as I will be driving quite a bit before payday rolls around again, I'll need some gas. Fortunately my veins are flowing with a substance worth way more than $2.399/gallon.

Yes, my friends, it is time to donate plasma once again. For $20, you let them suck a bunch of your blood out through a big needle, whirl it around in a jar to extract the plasma, mix the remaining red cells with saline solution, then shoot the red cells back into your arm via the same hole and same needle. You can even see the little bottle fill up with your own plasma. Its creepy and exciting.

My last experience with this was a bit traumatic*, but I don't always fold like a cheap lawn chair. This is $20 we're talking about. And you can go back like 2 or 3 times a week, almost like a part time job. Personally, I would tap the ol' savings account before I resorted to that, but still.

*Since they are using the same needle to extract and inject your blood, it has two channels, which means it is like twice the size of a regular phlebotomy needle. I got through the sticking. Everything was going fine, until I noticed my bottle wasn't really filling up anymore after it was 3/4 full. I looked down at my arm and saw a viscous red fluid creeping out from the where the needle met my flesh. Shouldn't the blood be going into the tube rather than on my arm? I raised my hand and someone came over. "Oh, this shouldn't happen." Good. We agreed on that. She took out the needle and we saw a little red tail hanging out of the hole in my arm. She wiped away the blood and pulled out what looked like a kangaroo joey. A clot had formed in my vein and had blocked the needle. They said I was done for the day and could collect my $20 even though I couldn't fill up their bottle. All in a day's work.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Smoker's Dilemma

Smoke or not? There are other ways to be rebellious, but nothing quite so much as smoking. I think its because it is no good for anyone. It rots your lungs, annoys everyone around you, is expensive, and makes you smell bad. It's like you're rebelling against everything at the same time.

And we all like to feel rebelliuos now and then. It's thrilling. For some people this means jumping out of an airplane, and for others crime (whether the harmless kind like skinny dipping in a hotel pool or the other kind). For still others staying out way past midnight drinking caffeine is rebellious.

The only trouble is deciding when enough is enough. Someone once advised me to try anything that has no permanent consequences, which include addictions, pregnancies, criminal records, severe injuries, and death. I was VERY curious, all through high school, as to what it was like get high on weed. Running through this list of permanent consequences I could easily rationalize that weed meets none of the criteria since it isn't chemically addictive.

I never tried it, but that was not for lack of willingness. Nobody ever offered me any. Sure, of course that's good thing that reflects well on where I grew up and who my friends were, but it was also oddly disappointing at the time.

Fortunately (in a strange sort of way) I was offered a legal, toxin-infused, non-medicinal conventional cigarette, which I refused. The kid offering it to me was one I did not like nor respect, and I was quite indifferent about his opinion of me. Besides, unlike marijuana, tobacco is VERY chemically addictive, and totally out of style.

But I have tried tobacco. I have. Several times. It was exciting, edgy, rebellious....everything I hoped for. But after the novelty wore off, some of my friends and family members saw me smoking and I felt ashamed. Then I noticed how I was feeling sick a lot of the time and I would resolve to quit. Quitting was easy, until I would suddenly notice I was smoking again.

The thing that finally helped me quit was my alarm clock. As soon as it went off, I realized that hadn't really been smoking; I had only been dreaming that I was smoking. The smoking dream has occured three times I think, and I very much enjoy it. All of the thrill of smoking, none of the consequences.

Dream about these things, but don't do them. If you do, what is the point of dreaming?

Sigmund Freud: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."



René Magritte: "This is not a pipe."

Friday, February 17, 2006

Friday, January 27, 2006

Holy Crap, a New Band!



The rumors are true. Yes even the one about the lobsters. But this post concerns the rumors about the new band. Here is our myspace site* URL:

http://www.myspace.com/loverunnerband




Well, that pretty much explains everything doesn't it? Happy Weekend to you.





*Yes, I got a myspace account. Now can I go outside and play?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Beverage Jam

American culture is great. Fireworks (thanks China!), the Great American Road Trip, the great outdoors, chili, and going to the movies ALL THE TIME are just what is springing to mind at the moment. Of course, we are missing a few things.

In some parts of Africa you can work out all your problems just by rounding up the whole village and everyone banging drums for a few hours. This makes sense of course. Hitting things always makes me feel better, even if I already feel good. And who doesn't like rocking out, even if you need the help of a chair specifically designed for that.

In my years spent in Scotlandd I learned that many believe the answers to life's big questions are at the bottom of a pint glass. Of course, nobody has found which pint glass exactly, so they are dilligently seraching as we speak. It is Wednesday, after all. But in their search they often find something else. There is something about talking to someone while you are eating or drinking that is theraputic. You can trust someone more if you are both sitting at the same table, putting the same thing into your bodies.

So I propose we search from both angles. This just may be the most ambitious social production since the Cake Dome Series, but I think we should try it anyway. For those of you familiar with Beverage Night, this is a total ripoff, but with an addition.

Beverage Jam
Thursday, 19 January 2006
8:49 pm
@ Le Maison du Rob
(about 1000 east and Princeton Avenue. Its the one without a railing)

You must bring:
1. A cup, mug, glass, or some sort of beverage-holding vessel.
2. An instrument or noisemaker, whether purchased or home made. If you don't know what to bring, here are some ideas:

Two spoons
Plastic Easter egg full of rice
Harmonica
Recorder
Sandpaper and wood blocks
Coffee can and wooden stick

As you may have surmised, we will be drinking (sorry, not alcohol) and attempting music. This is still experimental. Your patience is appreciated. I don't expect to find the meaning of life in one night, so this will likely occur several times more. And in case you haven't picked this up yet: You are invited.