This is one of those periods I experience from time to time, where I don't have enough money for all the things I want. When I say "things I want", I am not talking about cars, accordions, boats, unicycles, personal jets, laptop computers, Ronco food dehydrators, plasma screens, or electric staplers. I gave up on that type of thing a while back. What I mean is things like gas, food, socks that match, jeans without holes, rent, etc.
I have paid most of my rent for next month, but still owe for utilities. I can wear holy jeans, especially now that it's warming up a bit. I don't have any slumber parties scheduled in the immediate future, so the sock situation is fine. I can raid food from my mom's house whenever I need (I call it "shopping"). Also my roommate works at domino's and brings home a pizza every other night.
Mom, if you're reading this, don't worry. I am eating just fine. I'll prove it: Yesterday I ate cereal, spaghetti (the kind that is four different colors), green beans, an orange, and two sandwiches. Don't worry.
But as I will be driving quite a bit before payday rolls around again, I'll need some gas. Fortunately my veins are flowing with a substance worth way more than $2.399/gallon.
Yes, my friends, it is time to donate plasma once again. For $20, you let them suck a bunch of your blood out through a big needle, whirl it around in a jar to extract the plasma, mix the remaining red cells with saline solution, then shoot the red cells back into your arm via the same hole and same needle. You can even see the little bottle fill up with your own plasma. Its creepy and exciting.
My last experience with this was a bit traumatic*, but I don't always fold like a cheap lawn chair. This is $20 we're talking about. And you can go back like 2 or 3 times a week, almost like a part time job. Personally, I would tap the ol' savings account before I resorted to that, but still.
*Since they are using the same needle to extract and inject your blood, it has two channels, which means it is like twice the size of a regular phlebotomy needle. I got through the sticking. Everything was going fine, until I noticed my bottle wasn't really filling up anymore after it was 3/4 full. I looked down at my arm and saw a viscous red fluid creeping out from the where the needle met my flesh. Shouldn't the blood be going into the tube rather than on my arm? I raised my hand and someone came over. "Oh, this shouldn't happen." Good. We agreed on that. She took out the needle and we saw a little red tail hanging out of the hole in my arm. She wiped away the blood and pulled out what looked like a kangaroo joey. A clot had formed in my vein and had blocked the needle. They said I was done for the day and could collect my $20 even though I couldn't fill up their bottle. All in a day's work.