Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Just a Survival Machine?


It's creepy what thoughts you can find yourself having sometimes.

This morning I studied for a philosophy exam with a professor that you've already heard about, my dear faithful reader. One the one hand I have gotten better at studying for and writing for this guy. But also I was distracted by the events of last night, which didn't have relevance to philosophy of cognitive science. Anyway this exam is worth 25% of my grade and had me a little nervous.

To try and get into a better mental state for test-taking, I thought it would be better to study at school than at home. Also I drank some mate. On the way to school, just one block from my house, I saw our dear professor walking his mastiff. Hmm. Nobody else around. Him on foot and me in a car. In an instant I had the realization that if there were some sort of.........accident........then I could avoid this test entirely.

I just keep wondering if for a fraction of a second that it was actually an option that I considered, even if it was for only a moment.

Tell me something like this has happened to you.

8 comments:

kel said...

i'm not sure if this is what you're looking for but here goes: sometimes when i'm driving (especially in my Ford F150) on a major 6-lane highway i get this urge - a real physical urge - to crank the wheel and side swipe whoever is next to me. and it's not road rage... it's more like a fantasy of invincibility or no consequenses.

Spencer said...

...

uh...

*backs away slowly*

Dear Lovey Heart said...

my brother frequently tells a story of walking by a person carrying a bunch of boxes of donuts and his urge to just take one and run. Same idea just a little more trivial than homicide.

T.R. said...

Yeah. Unless donuts have souls.

Creativity Escapes Me said...

Who said this was murder? TR could get out of his car and commit assault with a deadly weapon. A deadly weapon such as his hands.

jo said...

i was more distracted by the mate part. mmmmm, mate. mate and donuts? no... just mate.

but on topic: i once wanted to not go to my AP test and claim that i "accidentally" slept in. No one would know the difference but me. Ok, that's nothings like the story you have just shared but for the sake of contributing...

eped said...

sometimes when I'm talking politely with someone I get an impulse, or at leat a "what if" felling of punching him or her in the face. this isn't like me being outwardly polite to someone I don't like; I'm talking about situations where I honestly really like, admire, care about the person. you could say these are the last people I'd ever want to punch in the face. like a nice old man patiently giving me directions on a road trip, or (sorta like your experience) the kindest, most caring professor, who I'm talking to with genuine interest. It's just like part of me asking "what if you took all the genuine good feeling you have for this guy and punched him in the face with them?!"
but as far as mate goes, I can't relate, though I've tried.

T.R. said...

yes! good stuff here people. thank you for making me more human.