Monday, March 03, 2008

I was a Skier once.

I used to go skiing once in a while. Still do, in fact. It was fun, especially when my parents would turn me loose and say to just meet up with them later at the car or lodge. Later I would go with my friends, and we would dare each other to do increasingly stupid things on jumps, slopes, cliffs, etc. until we were too tired/injured to even watch each other wreck anymore. (These are mostly good memories.)
I still go now and then, but sometimes I feel sort of like an anachronism sitting on a chairlift wearing a wool hat, sunglasses, with "Elan" brand skis bound to my feet. It seems my skis might as well be made of wood, and my poles have baskets made of a steel hoop with leather straps, and I might as well be dressed in sheepskin rubbed with beeswax. And please don't put me on a lift with some kid from Draper. Can you imagine the kind of conversation we'd have?

TR: How's it going?
Kid: Oh, epic man. Epic.
TR: What?
Kid: Epic. I totally just nailed an Eisenhower 540 Backside with a Double Reverse Cowbell.
TR: Oh. Cool.
Kid: Yeah.
TR: Nice day for it.
Kid: I know, right? It's sick.
TR: Sick?
Kid: Yeah. Ya know. Ill.
TR: The day is ill?
Kid: Yeah man. I mean it's been puking all day.
TR: Gross.
Kid: No, man. Sick.
TR: Oh.
Kid: But my friend just had a sale and got this ridiculous raspberry on his leg.
TR: Oh. That's...that's, uh.......
Kid: Yeah, no kidding. He had to get like five stitches.
TR: Sick.
Kid: No man, not sick. It was nasty.
TR: Oh.
(Notices my skis)
Kid: Oh sick man. Those are classics!
TR: Oh thanks. Yeah I've been thinking of getting new ones.
Kid: No way, man. You should rock those in the park. Do they shred?
TR: Shred?
Kid: Yeah. Shred the gnar?
TR: Oh yeah, the gnar. Well, uh.....yeah. Yes they do.
Kid: Sick man.

We could go on, but you get the idea. I do like skiing though.


Tracy said...

Sometimes things on the internet amuse me so much that I can't help but laugh out loud, causing my co-workers to look at me with confusion and annoyance due to my obvious lack of productivity. Way to create one of those awkward moments today.

cate said...

I picked up the term "Burley" when I was living in Stanley. Apparently you can even shorten it to "Burl" when something is f-ing hardcore.

EG) Q: How is the hike up to Sawtooth Lake?
A: It's sweet man but the trail gets pretty burl in the last mile.

Do you think Burley, Idaho or the burley trail came first?

Awright13 said...

My job has, as of late, been full of these bizarre moments. Especially when two white girls decide they're "ghetto" and are working on attaining "ghetto booty." ...Ya, I have no explanation for them.

Just think, when we said stupid things like this when we were their age, we just sounded like idiots.

Laverna said...

Isn't slang amazing.
I have to laugh about trying to get a ghetto booty. Even though I have no idea what that exactly entails.
Teenagers are thoroughly entertaining and exasperating.