Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmastime, Schmistmastime

Hi everyone. I like the tradition of the Christmas newsletter because it is so powerful. I think its most effective use is showing that as of when it was sent, its author hasn’t died yet. But beyond that, it has all sorts of uses. It’s like a once-a-year blog entry or the paper version of saying “Look at me!” It’s also useful for showing all of the friends that you secretly hate that you are doing WAY better than they are. Sort of like an update for the Joneses informing them that they have got a lot of work to do if they are going to keep up with you.

Anyway I think it’s customary for me to say all of the cool things that have happened this last year. Well, today at work I saw that someone left their book lying around, and we put it in the lost and found. The book was called Left Behind. I thought that was kind of neat.

I have been applying to graduate school, which is not even a little bit fun. Really it only adds to the increasing amount of time that I spend trying to convince other people that I’m worthwhile.
My five-month stint in Alaska was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it was a good experience during which I learned a lot, saved some money, made new friends, and had a lot of fun. On the other hand, and I’m afraid to admit this, it caused the global financial crisis. Yes, that whole thing was my fault. I was saving my money, and when I had a nice big chunk, I invested it into a mutual fund. Two days later AIG went bust causing President Bush to learn a new word: “cataclysm” (like I said, a mixed blessing).

So anyone who lost their 401k or their job, It was my fault. I am very sorry. Let me know and I will bake you some cookies. Probably snickerdoodles.

Many of you are probably concerned about whether I am dating anyone. That’s nice of you. Thank you.

Busking if going well. It is actually a higher paying job than I have ever had before. And it’s more fun than just about any job either. So why not do it full time? Well, my hands go numb after about one hour, and people are not as generous during business hours or during the non-Christmas season. And I like Christmas songs a lot, so I don’t know if it would be as fun during the rest of the year.

Well, that about does 'er. Even though it’s cold out, the plants are dead, I’m still single, not rich, and I spend my free time writing boring essays for committees to read, at this very moment I am warm and have plenty to eat. I have good friends and a great family. I am happy most of the time and incorrigibly optimistic.

MERRY WAR ON CHRISTMAS!

Love,
T.R.

3 comments:

Mark said...

Good to hear that you lost my 401K. Just kidding man. It really is good to hear that you are doing good. Have a good Christmas

moonpie said...

sounds like your life is fun... i want to go busking with you...i'll sing with you!! xo

judy said...

thanks a lot for killing my retirement. I'll take those cookies with interest please.