Sunday, February 21, 2010

Welcome to the Medicine Show

Working for a wilderness therapy program exposes one to various people in transitional periods of their lives, to put it lightly. They are pleasant, peace-loving folk for the most part, who probably should have been alive for the 60s but missed out for some meaningless (or perhaps cosmic) purpose.

One of my coworkers has learned to make kombucha, an indian cultured tea which I find to be bitter and oddly appealing. He said that he is working on an instructional booklet about how to make it, and he knows that I would like a copy when its finished. The selling point of kombucha is that it contains an active symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast. Who wouldn't be interested? I'm also told that kombucha balances out your energies. Well its about time!

He's not the alone. The Summums produce "nectar publications", alcoholic drinks that are infused with truths which are absorbed into your subconscious when the nectar is drunk before a meditation session. They make "seven of an expected twenty-seven" different flavors! I am not eligible to drink them though--only those who have been through an initiation ceremony are allowed. But if I were, I know which flavor I would choose: Sexual Ecstasy.

I think I am basically on the same page here. I've been making sodas these past few months. I haven't worked out a Sexual Ecstasy flavor yet, but I've perfected a killer ginger beer, a caffeinated cola with real coca extract, a fizzy spiced grape, one that tastes like a ginger snap, root beer, birch beer, blueberry, and licorice soda, which really is like drinking a bottle of liquid good and plentys. They might even balance your energies or impart truths to your subconscious, but so far the FDA has ignored all of my letters asking for them to evaluate those statements. I guess you'll have to try one and then get back to me.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Headline: Cool Costume No Sub For Skill

In my defense, it was a choppy ride, and the rope jerked me in midair and pulled me off balance. Seriously! Watch it frame by frame if you don't believe me! My favorite part is the weird voice that says "Oh, No!" right after I roll.

Click the video twice to watch it at Youtube. That way the side doesn't get cut off.