Friday, July 30, 2010

Two races

In 2005 (I believe) eped and I swore off paying other people for the privilege of running. Aid stations are nice, but its easy enough to hide some bottles of water yourself if its going to save you anywhere from $20 to $70. I've only broken that vow twice since then, once for the Blue Mountain Triathlon last year and once for the Splash and Dash Biathlon.

We've organized our own free races since then, including the Wasatch Plateau Marathon, the 4.01k, and the Masquerade Parade 5k. So its with some minor discomfort that I'll be paying for two events this fall.

The Dirty Dash 10k, from the looks of it, will be a messy steeplechase-type deal. I'm looking forward to it mostly for the "Surprise obstacle" in mile 5.
Sept. 25th. at Soldier Hollow. $35

The second one I'm doing it partly because my friend is the race director, and mostly because it is just a great idea: At The Night of the Running Dead 5k you show up and run from zombies, or register as a zombie, wait an extra minute at the starting line, and chase the normals. I don't know which one I'll be yet.
Oct. 9th at Pioneer Park. $15

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


I just saw Inception, which of course, is part II in Christopher Nolan's Cillian Murphy Wears a Bag Over His Head saga.

Edit: I forgot that Scarecrow also appears in The Dark Knight. I guess its a trilogy after all!

Friday, July 23, 2010

That Swirly Pattern

Every time I check google analytics, I see that about half of my blog traffic comes from people looking for actual swirly patterns. It makes me feel bad, kind of like a spammer, and its also thrilling, kind of like rick-rolling someone.

Last month two different people wandered in here with the question "What do you call that one swirly pattern with all of the swirly things?" or something like that, and all my blog did was delay their answer. Well never again! For all of you, it's called the Paisley pattern if this is what you're talking about.

It's the pattern of bandannas, cowboy shirts, and old suitcases and its named after Paisley, Scotland even though it is Indian in origin. If you want more info than that, I'll let you continue your google-based research.

While were at it, my current background pattern is known as a Florentine.

PS, eped was right. I liked the paisley pattern way before it was cool.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

43 things. (Buckets, etc. part 2)

43 things is far less self-indulgent than Esquire's 75 things.

1. Jump out of an airplane.
2. Live in Alaska.
3.See a wolf in the wild.
4. See a wolverine in the wild.
5. Have a Bigfoot, ghost, alien, chupacabras, skinwalker, or other mythical being encounter.
6. Get knocked out cold.
7. Publish a book.
8. Visit Asia.
9. Visit the Southern Hemisphere.
10. Be interviewed on TV or Radio as some sort of expert or witness.
11. Live abroad.
12. Have kids.
13. Get a graduate degree.
14. Bungee jump.
15. Do one or more years of humanitarian service abroad.
16. Raise llamas.
17. Keep Bees.
18. Find a meteorite.
19. Find a dinosaur fossil.
20. Skinny dip in the ocean.
21. Fast for 72 hours (drink only water).
22. Complete a summer triathlon.
23. Read a thick piece of Russian literature.
24. Read an entire non-children's book in Spanish.
25. Do a perfect flip and dive off a diving board.
26. Break 200 in bowling.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Win first place in a 5k for my age group.
29. Read an entire novel in a day.
30. Solo bear encounter.
31. Spend an entire day naked.
32. Save a drowning person.
33. Be on the news.
34. Win an eating contest.
35. Sell a piece of art or handicraft to a stranger.
36. Give something anonymously.
37. Be an extra in a movie shown in theaters.
38. Give a piece of life-changing advice.
39. Barefoot competitive 5k.
40. Write a letter to the editor that is published.
41. Go 24 hours without speaking.
42. Go to Burning Man.
43. Discover a new species.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Buckets, Lists, and Quarter-life Crises, Part 1.

For people not creative enough to come up with their own bucket list, Esquire has made one for you. 75 seems a bit ambitious though. I mean, I have to do like one or two every year to complete that kind of list.
Red = I've done it.
Green = I plan to do it or am in the process of doing it.
Black or white = Haven't done it, don't plan on it, or its too vague for me to know whether I've done it or not. Sorry that it switches back and forth; I ran into some trouble that had to do with my blog template. Black and white are the same.

1. Play Rugby
2. Repair an appliance 
3. Fly the red-eye from Vegas.
4. Fly a Cessna 
5. Make your own list of 75 things to do before you die. Its hard.
6. Fast for three days. Just drink water. 
7. Drive the Great Ocean Road in Australia. Or the Pacific Coast Highway.
8. Make a perfect Omelet.
9. Drive by yourself from coast to coast.
10. Recognize the accomplishments of others.
11. Do a flip off a diving board. Nail it.
12. Leave a letter for yourself in a library book. Look for it 20 years later.
13. Watch a bad movie so many times that you can quote it word for word.
14. Toboggan, aggressively.
15. Scuba Dive.
16. Drink Mescal in Mexico.
17. Cultivate a reputation.
18. Learn four chords on a guitar and play a song.
19. Live in a hotel suite for a week.
20. Milk a cow. Drink it.
21. Build a fence.
22. Carry a totem in your pocket.
23. Help someone dig out.
24. Pick an animal. Something cool like a wolverine. Go see it in the wild.
25. Shoplift.
26. Throw a real party.
27. Live outside the homeland.
28. Start something that scares you.
29. Choose a word or phrase and actively never use it again.
30. Eat mussels in Bruges.
31. Break a sheet of plate glass with a ball-peen hammer.
32. Cook the same thing over and over until you are known for it.
33. Overspend.
34. Have a threesome.
35. Quit something you love.
36. Take care of someone else's three-year-old for the day.
37. Get very good at a sport that isn't a sport.
38. Listen to war stories.
39. Tell war stories.
40. Write someone else's life story without mentioning yourself.
41. Sing in public.
42. Sell everything you don't need. Once.
43. Play golf at Carnoustie.
44. Play chess until you beat someone you shouldn't, then quit forever.
45. Give up your seat.
46. Kill, dress, cook, and eat wild game.
47. Attend the funeral of someone you didn't know that well.
48. Take a vow. Keep it.
49. Eat a six-course meal that you prepared.
50. Live at a high altitude.
51. Spend some time working for tips.
52. Overeat for a week.
53. Make a movie, even a short one.
54. Give a panhandler all your money.
55. Make beer, wine, or moonshine.
56. Read Lolita.
57. Have sex in a body of water.
58. Ride a horse.
59. Eat Congee. Eat Haggis. Eat Tongue. Eat Kidneys. Eat Brain. Eat Testicles.
60. Walk Twenty Miles. Bring Water.
61-63. Go to the desert. Take long-lasting drugs. Drink water.
64. Watch television for 24 hours uninterrupted.
65. Save something from the dump.
66. Climb something that you're afraid of.
67. Get a manicure.
68. Eat a two-course meal that you grew.
69. Get a deep-tissue massage.
70. Sleep outside for a week.
71. Put a hundred bucks on a long shot. To win.
72. Go to Paris. Tell no one where you are. Stay for two weeks.
73. Raise a dog.
74. Peg the speedometer.
75. Bungee jump.

Disclaimers: I flew a Navajo, not a Cessna. I milked and drank the milk of a goat, not a cow. I played golf in Paisley, not Carnoustie.

I've done 36 out of 75, or 48%. How did you do?

Monday, July 12, 2010

Best Crepe Recipe Ever

First of all, its fun to call them "Creeps" or to fake a french accent and pronounce it "Kweps". Having said that, here's how to make them:

1 Cup Flour
4 Eggs
1 and 1/2 Cups Milk
3 Tbsp. Melted Butter
3 Tbsp. Honey
1 tsp. Vanilla
Pinch Salt

1. Beat the eggs, then mix in the flour.
2. Blend in everything else.
3. Spread the batter very thinly onto a non-stick cooking surface of about 350°. When the crepe has solidified, flip it over and brown the other side. Makes about 10 eight-inch crepes.

Some things to remember:

Crepes are way better than pancakes. In every way. They are easier to make, they taste better, they're fancier, and they don't soak up syrup like a sponge.

Unlike pancakes, the batter makes even better crepes if you let it sit in the fridge for 24 hours. I have no idea why this is.

This recipe is a SECRET recipe, according to the guy who gave it to me. That's why I'm publishing it on my unpopular personal blog rather than on my internationally acclaimed award-winning professional blog which I write under a pseudonym.

These crepes are also good with savory foods. Make an extra large one into a sandwich wrap, using the crepe like you would a tortilla.

This is the best pop-culture crepe reference in recent years.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Biophobia II

The earth is our enemy, I was taught. Does it not bring forth noxious weeds to afflict and torment man?
-Hugh Nibley

I really hate this animal. The first time I saw it was in an otherwise spotless public restroom at the U of U. It sped into my stall as I sat helpless, my legs immobilized by the jeans crumpled around my ankles. Thinking quickly, I tapped one foot which scared it into changing its course. It headed toward a drain in the floor and disappeared.

That was at least three years ago. Then just last January I turned on the sink to wash some dishes and another one (or the same one?) raced out of my garbage disposal toward the plate I was holding. I turned on the faucet, then the garbage disposal.

A quick google search of things like "legs drain insect fast" and "scary sink bug" revealed that I was being terrorized by a scutigera coleoptrata, also known by its overly-endearing common name, the house centipede. One message board described it as a the Satan spawn of a spider and a centipede.

Not to be presumptuous or anything, but I really think that the creation of such an animal was a bit over-the-top.